How many children do you have?

How can such a simple question pose such a difficult answer? And how can such an answer provoke such feelings?

It is such a difficult question to answer, because depending on who is asking, what the circumstances are and who is around me, my answer can be different.

The simple answer is five

Or is it three?

Or possibly even eight (which seems ridiculous, but acknowledges the losses we had on the way to the three or the five). Asda

This in the unseen load that step parents face on a daily basis, and the uncertainty of offending or letting somebody down.

Namely my stepdaughters in my case.

I have three boys; four, three and zero.

But before that I had my gorgeous stepdaughters, who have been in my home since they were three and six (we are now seven years in)!

Before we had the boys, I hated the question. I felt so strongly they were mine too, whilst equally being overly aware that they weren't, and that I had to consider their feelings. Was it better if I said they were mine, or I pointed out that they were 'steps'? How would that make their mum feel? How would that make the girls feel, especially when it was new.

We came to a mutual agreement that people just seemed to assume they were mine, and the girls would rather I didn't correct them.

Once we had our first boy, I used to say I had him and he had two sisters. I didn't specify the details unless needed. It's unnecessary and I see them all as mine. But as our family grew, that became a strange thing to say.

I tend to say I have three boys, and two step daughters. But I'd be lying if I said that felt comfortable. I hate pointing out there's a difference, when I want so much for there not to to be. In our house, there's no steps and halves, just brothers and sisters.

In a doctor's, I tend to say I have three. Usually the medical professional wants to know about births, and the simple uncomplicated answer in that scenario is three.

But in my son's school, I say five. His sisters are his whole world, how can I not include them?

Such a simple question- why can't it have a simple answer?